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Chapter 6: The Silence In My Heart

by The Emo Diaries

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  • More Chapters of The Emo Diaries

1.
you think i should be in bed. but i don't. and i won't. you say i needn't be scared. but i care. so i hope. you say i shouldn't go out at night. but i've made my mind up to do my own thing. had enough of humility. i won't be doing what you tell me. oh nanny dear. it's nice to know you care. but i've had enough. i'm standing up. i'm out of here. i'm a major player. at the heart of this whole damn scene. i'm not the hub. not the cog. i've grown a little too big for this niche. you find it hard to believe. my grand plans. i have dreamed. i have schemed. i have traveled a long time. in my mind. if i could just get myself untied. i would go there. stowaway there. undercover and as an unknown there. be my own man. i would show them the real me. oh nanny dear. it's nice to know you care. but i've had enough. i'm standing up. i'm out of here. we'll believe it when we see it. i'm a major player. at the heart of this whole damn scene. i'm the hub. not the cog. i've grown a little to big for this niche
2.
of course i feel as if the light of youth has gone. the innocence both you and i have known. clenching teeth who can undo. open eyes become a noose. and soon. everything's changed. and the dust that i have come from. i return to. broken back. unbending knee. wait. and soon sorrow. naked heart it seems too much for me to bear. of pleasures past. fast your work is left to decay. i've seen where this path will lead. through red earth and fallen leaves before. everything's changed. and the dust that i have come from. i return to. broken back. unbending knee. wait. take the road. find a source of comfort. of comfort. here you come. here you come. with one eye open. and one eye closed. staggering
3.
if you wait. by the side of the road. then i will pick you up. if you stay and wait for me. in my baby blue ford i will be there at two in the morn. but don't tell your dad because I've never had such a tail to tell. tell him something else. tell him your away. tell him anything. tell him your at julie's. give him the number. to call if he's scared. give him the number. to call if he cares. if you wait by the side of the road. then you will be disappointed. if you stay. and wait for me. in my baby blue ford i ain't comin round your house no more. so go tell your dad cause i've never had such a tail to tell you. tell him we are through. cause that's what he wanted
4.
Stuart - 2:1 04:28
i caught her smile too fast to know. will this go on. i told myself to go. how was i to know. i was on to you. but something is missing. and maybe we have gone to far. can we go on when i come home. will this go on. we stand on different sides of the sea. i'm sure you know that i'm not losing this time. we're on this field again at different ends. can't get to close. can't get to you. this will go on. the reason to get lost. will it be the way. the only way. i caught her smile too fast to know. this will go on. we stand on different sides of the sea. i'm sure you know that i'm not losing this time. we're on this field again. at different ends. can't get to close. can't get to you
5.
behind your hands i turn black. i fall into the soft white snow. inside of me i'm tired of you. your footsteps in the snow. make me smile. but i still can't trust myself. i fall into the black soft night. behind your hands i turn black. december's love is what i count (on). shadows feel so warm i hide (in). one of them i'm small and weak. i crawl to you to catch one more
6.
trying to be nothing. i'm trying to hide. dying to see something that will make up my mind. you are my secret wave. and you're floating around. on my secret ocean. you're making no sound. you are the wave. floating away. you are the wave. showing the way. with tears in your eyes. you are holding your breath. aware of the consequences you may make. your breath is my breath. and you're fully aware. i don't think you would like to leave this way. you are the wave. floating away. you are the wave. showing the way. someday the sun will shine on both you and me. that day will be forever. eternity. you'll smile and i know that it's hard to believe. but i promise you'll be happy and free. like me. you are the wave. floating away. you are the wave. showing the way. you are the wave and hello
7.
many nights I've spent sleepless. i thought about the time. about how slow and fast. slides through my hands. and I didn't realize. something moved when i thought about it. i didn't look over me. who was close to me. didn't perceive my presage. i didn't pay attention to hours. to minutes. the simplicity of quietness. the pleasure of tasting. the wisdom's whisper. and I didn't realize. i've found the right stability. between the intense flavour. and the tasteless waiting
8.
waking up to summer dusk. i feel absent in time. fading daylight leaves. filters through kitchen static light. my dinner waits on sleeping stove. secrets come slow. open lessons in regret. hope you're feeling well tonight. and now i'm serving up the last long day. and i'm never running out of sleep. can't keep track. i file memories deep. a list of urgent failures sing
9.
a long time. you thought about the big time. but after all you're not so beautiful. and in time. you thought about the bright lights. but after all you're not so colorful. a dirty smile. looking for a free ride. you're standing there. you look kind of pitiful. i wouldn't stand. i wouldn't stand. won't stand for uneventful this time. and back then. you thought you were the cool guy. but after all you're not so beautiful. the big plans. looking for the spotlight. but after all you're not so colorful. and in time. you're asking all the people why. you're standing there. you look kind of pitiful. i wouldn't stand. i wouldn't stand. won't stand for uneventful this time. watching the faces go by. never meant. and when I wake up. and look out beside my life. watching it grow. and after all. this time I always know it's mine. watching it grow. and in time. you're looking for a new life. cuz after all you're not so beautiful. the big dreams. fading in the dim light. cuz after all you're not so colorful. dirty pants. looking for a free ride. you're standing there. you look kind of pitiful. i wouldn't stand. i wouldn't stand. won't stand for uneventful this time. watching the faces go buy never meant much too me. watch the spot where I stop paying attention to ya. watching it grow. a lie. and in time. you're looking for a new life. cuz after all you're not so beautiful. and in time. you're looking for a free ride. cuz after all you're not so beautiful. it could have been. it could have been so beautiful
10.
the witness came from the direction of sorrow ground. i asked tell me the way not to stand against you. the conversation ended at this point. keep me willing to believe. but I gotta face you again. the line was still stretching height as always. but soon hit the ceiling and adjusted its course sideways. deadlocked line found a diagonal way. and rushed into settlement at a single stroke. from the cradle to the grave. this gray world where you can take everything as black and white. noah's ark is gone. all I need is just one word. all I need is a word which can settle this. if you fail to untie. you will face friction. diagonally we became as one. please tell me the way not to stand against you. and we became as one
11.
you can go there selling all your smiles. i think i hate you. but would kill for a chance. i should've seen it. but my eyes haven't worked in a while. i think i'm faking. faking my existence. i'm choking on the fresh air that i breath in. i'm breaking promises that i swear i would keep. my ship is sinking in. so i will swim to the shore. and we'll raise the dead with our singing. i know nothing. it's been a long time since i've seen your face. it's been a crazy crazy crazy crazy year. maybe i'll just bet my life away. do you think i'm still a disgrace
12.
titles have been visited through the unconstant. kissing letters. i'm not wearing hearts on my sleeve. pulling the envelope from the hiding place. holding myself close. i don't have the heart to believe. a stamped letter we had as a first chance. no seconds. just the post-marked mile marker. carpeted under streetlights. asleep at your bedside. then gone to work and alone. bathed in the scent of unforgiving lullabies. the science of my heart tells you to cut it out. pillowed prey. under the descent of vulture's talons. convictions to shiver the scarecrow with every crease. the silence of my heart has let me leave you for who you are. not what i'm leaving behind

about

"The Emo Diaries may be the best document of our generation's gift to the world of music, and The Silence In My Heart: Chapter Six is no different. In a land of cheap, budget priced label samplers featuring previously released tracks by bands you don't particularly care about, The Emo Diaries is one of the last of a dying breed...the compilation album. Deep Elm does something that pretty much every other label has deemed an expensive hassle. Rather than trying to promote their own artists, Deep Elm actually lets any band in the world submit material for inclusion. The result is an excellent introduction to what's happening in emo right now. On this chapter you have the hard rocking Hangin' On A Thread, dynamic acts like Southpaw and Barcode, emotional, melodic punk from Andherson and the totally classic, finger-picking-and-whispering of Lewis. All of the songs provide excellent introductions to their particular style of music, with standout tracks coming from Honeysuckle Serontina, Hangin' On A Thread, Naht and Dead Red Sea. Emo is truly a worldwide force, and like nearly every style of music that has preceded it, emo needs a truly great single album that can be enjoyed equally by the newcomer and the expert. The Emo Diaries is a flex your head for the thrift store set, and if this genre means anything to you, you should really own this record." - Deep Fry Bonanza

"The good people at Deep Elm have somehow again succeeded in assembling hitherto unreleased tracks from a host of little known bands into a body of work that burrows straight to your soul and eekes out every possible emotion known. The Silence In My Heart: The Emo Diaries Chapter 6 is intensely moving stuff with warm textures, desolate atmospherics and soul-jarring dynamics. From crashing density to whispering introspection this record not only serves as a picture perfect snapshot of the varying post hardcore styles, but will introduce you to songs and bands that will stay with you for the rest of your life. Stunning." - Kerrang

"The Emo Diaries compilations have been largely successful because of their ability to back it up with nearly an hour of shockingly good music each and every time. Chapter Six, The Silence In My Heart, follows this pattern to a tee. Contained within these twelve songs of teetering energy and pain is far more than words could ever express. Southpaw starts things off with a song racked with harmonic vocals and poppy guitars. It's just the right amount of energy to get things going. Others include Benton Falls, with whom I'm really impressed. Their unique combination of thick guitars and bass mated to loud and booming vocals just takes off; this guy can sing! There is also Hangin' On A Thread, unleashing a ferocious attack that rages hard, and Andherson, who bring forth a very smooth, textured sound. I've listened to this record with attention that few pieces in my collection get. Darn good music wins again." - Pastepunk

"Deep Elm knows exactly how to make a compilation, and The Emo Diaries gets even better this time around with Chapter Six, The Silence In My Heart. All the sounds seem come together to create something great. A happy note, a sad note; they eventually all blend together in a euphoric tide of noise, crashing down in all the right places. Each band seems to know exactly when to twist your heart and when to let go and allow you to recover. After listening to The Silence In My Heart, you'll want to complete the diary by grabbing the five other chapters in this great series." - Graynoise

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released July 24, 2001

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Deep Elm Records

With nearly 280 releases in its catalog, fiercely independent Deep Elm Records continues to build a better label - one that operates for glory, not gold. Deep Elm is about bands and fans coming together as one and experiencing music's awesome ability to inspire, comfort and console. We're not just making music together, we're making history. Dream / Create / Record / Release - Now for 27 Years. ... more

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