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Chapter 3: The Moment Of Truth

by The Emo Diaries

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so far away just a whisper on the phone. your words just drowning in static on the line. sad to hear your voice doesn't sound the same. something is on your mind. nothing much to say about it anyway. can't take the pain away. just wanna be right there beside you. with the comfort i can't offer when i'm not around you. all of these thoughts need answers. but i'm left with just a sense of emptiness inside me. last verse of this summer. what will we become. will we drift apart as days grow shorter. will it ever be the same thing. are you just a goner. will you stay around. there is no use looking any further. i just wish that i could reach you. sorry that you can trust me when i say. you're the only one. don't need nobody else. sorry to know that you're lightyears from where i am. not just the actual distance as in the worlds we live. wish that i could say something so you'd feel safe. and make it sound okay. this time it's for real. i promise that this time i will be honest. but i just wanna have a confirmation. so that you won t disappear without an explanation. maybe this will sound too selfish. i can't hide the way i feel. the anxious desperation
and i swear i tried to find the light in this i held my breath for as long as i could hold on. you've known i'm not much for complaining but there's not much left of me this winter got the best of me. december killed the best of me. and i'm sure it's been catching and gaining but how could you see. and even if you spun cartwheels with sparklers in your hands it wouldn't be enough for me december killed the best of me. and i just called and i just wrote to say goodbye. cuz i'm afraid when the snow clears there won't be much left of me. december killed the best of me
would you forget me. this time. forget the taste. of your lips. over mine. it's absurd to give up on me. anyone else. and it would have been easy. instead you were my world. i'm no where. except inside of you. waiting. waiting till the end. cause i've found love. you're not the part of me. that's died. it's the part of me. that would have cried. and i wish my luck would change. but you're the only person. i would ever want. to break my heart
when you asked me. what i was thinking. i told you. that i'm not what you've wanted. am i man. or mouse. i can't take this anymore. i can't deal with this. and i'm sorry. that i'm not perfect. or even beautiful. but i can still. feel it in my heart. so may i have this dance. i'm sorry to interrupt. i just gotta take this chance
there's pieces in the hallway. are your lights on. are your thoughts dim. but i. i don't have the time. to say. fading in obscurity. don't know if i'll talk again. challenging aggression. but i'm fading fast. spitting untouched thoughts. but i. i don't have the time. to say. fading in obscurity. don't know if i'll talk again. it's starting to make sense to me. i'm hearing things. so i won't have to prove something
one. reflect her eyes. in the round mirror. above. distort the stars. in the pool. where she sits. and deliberates. and emotion. two. breathe. breathe and term. the black river. and tear away. from despair. three. unwind and use. the cool breeze of nature. i will dissipate. disappear with the tide
thunderground. spinning like a top in the singing sands. sifting the seconds. through the palm of his hand. the wolf's at the door tonight. and it bleeds a lot for a ghost. sooner than you think lights go out. upside down. inside out. back to front. front to back. and then the lights are back. on a dusty road. nowhere to run. nowhere to hide. as dragonflies see through cats eyes. once he filled the holes with words. but now he's caught between the line. tightrope walking. with the sands of time. on a long long road
you don't have to wait until tomorrow. time is never on your side. you won't get to sleep until tomorrow. time just lets you down. can't you see nothing's right. wait for me tonight. time after time i'm spending all i have. trying to make it last. love slips away so fast. trying to keep, keep my grasp. you don't have to sleep until tomorrow. i'm always on your side. we won't get to sleep until tomorrow. you used to get me. now you've got me gone. you've got me going one thousand directions. will everything be all right
don't start. it's gone to far now. lying words. so soothing. i don't want to feel it. swallowed pride. swallowed. goddamn not again. the blame is cast with blind eyes. i wash my hands. backhand. apologize. to me. i'm sorry. for whatever i've done. let go
i ran all the way to your house. and i knew why. or at least that's what she said. everything was on the edge of my mind. but the breeze blew them away. damn those trade winds
we awake in a strange day. i try not to cave in. as the trials that face me. are slowly wearing me thin. down to the bone. time will turn me to stone. and leave me standing alone. we try to keep it on the down low. in time we learn to say. pharaohs and kings. never mattered much to me. we live. i breathe in. we feel. believe what helps us wake up everyday. pharaohs and kings. i bet they did the same thing anyway. a minor glitch in the mainframe. could make the structure fall down. i found myself on a tight rope. it chills me just to look down. down to the bone. time will turn me to stone. i and leave me standing alone. we try to keep it on the down low. in time we learn to say. pharaohs and kings. never mattered much to me
disowned and disavowed. placed salt in wounds. reprieve the right hand rule. a hearsay headstall. this guilt becomes trite. heels on hands. i drove for miles to watch. the tears fall across your lips
the wave has left the shore. the storm has left nothing behind. a man is out there searching. for something he can't find. the shepherd has found his one lost sheep. got back and found the other thousand gone. so hard to stand up straight. see life in the eye without being someone else. so hard to stand up straight. she always walked the line. one day found a track. made of tiny stones. her candle was lit. but the storm will blow it out. the stones will close her eyes. from what she wants to see. she won't see me. no. so hard to stand up straight. see life in the eye without being someone else. a girl was found but it wasn't hers. try not to fail out. you said you would be with me until the end


"This is emo, what music should be all about. Get all of these. Each album is incredible! Some bands you may have heard of, some obscure you'll die to find. I just listened to all the Diaries albums in a row, and it's pretty fascinating to see the way that this documentation of the emo style has changed just in the past two or so years. It seems that this style of music has evolved significantly, in part reverting back to its hardcore routes and also spreading outside our humble home, proving that America doesn't hold the only license to powerful, emotional rock. I don't think ANY compilation album will be quite as good as the first chapter of The Emo Diaries, with the second Emo Diaries close behind. Deep Elm is the best label out there." - Delusions of Adequacy

"Perhaps the best continuing compilation around. First, because instead of being a hard-liner on the question of the emo sound, John at Deep Elm prefers instead to simply let the music determine its own course. Quality is the question, not blind obedience to some arbitrary rules. But choosing 14 songs from the multitudes submitted isn't easy. On each of these discs, the songs have been among the best representations of emo, whatever that might actually mean. There are a couple of bands here I've heard before (Sweep the Leg Johnny and Cross My Heart) and a couple I wish I had (Starmarket and the Saddest Girl Story). Well, all of the songs are great. Those two just made the biggest immediate impact. Deep Elm has taken an approach to propagating the emo sound, and does it oh-so-well. This is just one more point in the east coast corner. A compilation to be snapped up with all due haste." - Aiding And Abetting

"The third chapter has been written, and it is sweeter than the last. Deep Elm is churning these out without any quality flaws. From top to bottom, this is great. I keep listening over and over and I am reluctant to name favorites. The opener by Starmarket is a great, amped up track, with other dandies following by Planes Mistaken For Stars, Penfold (excellent!), The Saddest Girl Story, Sweep The Leg Johnny, Speedwell, Epstein and the ever-popular "hidden" track by London, Ontario's own, Shoulder. Again, let me re-iterate, each song is stupendous on its own, and each of these bands deserves their own full-length or two. That being said, any purchase of a Deep Elm record, specifically any chapter of the Emo Diaries, is a fine selection. You're guaranteed one of the finest compilations put together in recent years." - Building Adam Zine



released February 9, 1999


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Deep Elm Records

With nearly 280 releases in its catalog, fiercely independent Deep Elm Records continues to build a better label - one that operates for glory, not gold. Deep Elm is about bands and fans coming together as one and experiencing music's awesome ability to inspire, comfort and console. We're not just making music together, we're making history. Dream / Create / Record / Release - Now for 27 Years. ... more

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