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Chapter 1: What's Mine Is Yours

by The Emo Diaries

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you told me. don't you look at the sun. it burns your eyes out. i disobeyed and seen the man. who's going nowhere. convince me this. you don't got to worry. you're on your feet. please help me down. i brain stormed and caught up with my friend. he's doing fine now. it's been uplifting. knowing you are. how sad. it's so sad. i beg him this. may he mind not worry. to break this chord of a paranoia. and there's no anecdote for a petty love. i think you found the lighter side. of our friendly hope. i don't mean to poke. we can face obvious nonsense
if faith is blind. then what does vision find. and where will it lead me to this time. stop or start. can i bear to one day buy. sight unseen. when i fall. you let me slip away. farther. when i fall. you're all i see. with insides dead. defeated by thoughts in my head. and what will be my choice this time. head or heart. will it wear my sunday brown and green. where to place the blame. my own self. where to hang the blame. my own self
we stand circled around. facing each other. day after day. it seems so tedious to me. stupid maybe. still. green walls painted black to cover up the envy. could it be more shallow. lights overhead. we were so strung out. stupid maybe. still redefined. crossed over lines. what's your answer
up in the sky that's where i'm from. up in the sky. cold and stone pass me by. we make mistakes. God knows i tried. i'm weary. i've given blood. don't let it. stain. i'm weary. you had to come
she's always restless. she's over medicated. and a kind of motion. that feels out of place. never give your opinion. cause they've got all the answers. follow the leader. and remember where you've been. so don't leave. it's not me you know. can't control. what goes through my mind. so stay. please understand. i don't mean. all i say tonight. haven't slept for days. and my words don't seem to come out right. it's just a phase. that you're gonna grow out of when you die. and it's all right. you know everything is going to be just fine. is it too much to ask for. some kind of ordinary life. two weeks clean. a vague reality. from a life time clouded. lost details of your dreams. the will to eat. fills your need to sleep. of things you never think of. till they're always on your mind. is it too much to ask. for some kind of ordinary life
a beginner swimmer. you throw me in the water. let my body kick and hover. in soaking silence. i can hold my breath. will this be my last one. arms raised up to a distorted setting sun. try to pull the light down. from the sky. and hold it close to keep me warm. under soaking silence. i can hear them yell. perfect form. for a beginner swimmer
your face. fading silver. waiting. lonelier. losing ground. falling deeper. my impression of a promise. whispers to a loathing heart. miracles of misery. there wasn't time. fade in. a well meant lie. no faith. you're failing me. waiting. i am consumed. losing hope. the hours run down and down. leaving dry and worn. whispers to a loathing heart. miracles of misery. there wasn't time. fade in. a well meant lie. misfortune. it whispers
i want to know about it all. and everything it might involve. with the girlfriends. superstars. contracts. tarot cards. cause i want to know. what the future holds. won't you let me know. cause i got to know. and just let me know. cause i want to know. i want to know what the teachers know. i want to hold what the future holds. i want to dream what the dreamers dream. and then scream about everything. cause i want to know. what the future holds. won't you let me know. cause i got to know. cause i got to know. cause i want to know. but won't you let me know now. i want to know about it all. and everything it might involve. with the bar scenes. mishaps. boy scouts. and hand claps. i want to go where the heroes go. just take a look inside my soul. and let me know if it's already been sold. won't you let me know now. i want to go where the heroes go. i want to know what the teachers know. and i want you just to tell me. if this is really how it's gonna be
lust for life is gone. a wayside tragic pawn. a conscience that won't break. philosophy can't stay. demented soul. an act so droll. i have to turn away. i think back to the time. when life was so sublime. it's on. it's on. i'll have to turn it on. goby rest in peace. in death you say the least. take me back in time. when fate was much more kind. i'll just hide my lying eyes. and pretend to be divine
i know the sounds. but maybe i don't know how. to listen to the words that i hear so loud. the feeling's lost. i know that i don't belong. the more i'm lost. the more i know i'm wrong. and how can i being to tell you. when i can't find the words that i want to say. they hide inside my fears that i've yet to face. this sky that wont fall. all the nights i lie awake and i wonder. why these words all sound like one. there's no face. just a voice. and a feeling i just can't find. i don't know if i can face the crowd. if there's nothing inside me now. i don't know how i will face you now. if there's nothing left to see. all the time this nervous and unseen me. sees you. but it takes so much to be. the one you want. to see when i look into. your eyes and see no one. and how can i being to tell you. when i can't show you what i want to say. i hide inside the fears i've yet to face. this sky that wont fall. when you can no longer stand to look me in the eyes. that's when you'll know i'm gone
you can say what you want to say. people will talk anyway. i will give you a head start. let you take the easy part. making others laugh at my expense. i'm sure you've had experience. still i have to say that was so mean. and why you have to be so mean. so mean. you can't break what's left. of my confidence. it's already shattered. while what's left of my pride. is already scattered. you won't find me fishing for compliments. but now i'm scared what to expect. now i know. what you are. empty and shallow. ugly inside. clear it up now there's nothing to hide from me. for no reason at all. you turned your back. walked away. disclaimed me. guess you'll go on being yourself. nothing that time or aging will help. i just want you to know. that you really hurt me. never knew you'd be so quick. to desert me


"Even the Tin Men of the hardcore scene used to wish they had a heart. Nowadays, tho', the Wizard has granted them the niche sound of emo-core, a loosely defined group of bands that many believe have been undeservedly ignored. What is emo-core, you ask? Well, it's basically a lot like hardcore 'cept that the sound is a little mellower, the themes are more focused on loss than pure anger, and they have a new compilation on Deep Elm. WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS has flow. Flow is that evasive quality that most comps lack -- a strong overall consistency that supersedes the tendency to say: "well, tracks one, four and seven rule, and six and three are ok, but two, five and eight suck, man." It's 12 tracks include strong appearances by Samiam, Jejune, Triplefastaction and Red Level, to name a few. It's music that still possesses a rawness that flaunts the battle scars of touring proudly. A good intro to the genre and a must-have for the fan." - Pitchfork

"Emo-core operates on a basic principle: that noise, coupled with strong songwriting and at least some semblance of melody, can capture the raw essence of emotion. That drums, guitars and maybe a set of pipes can wedge a screwdriver into the most private pain center and pry out a response. The grind and burn of these 12 tracks is an educated and valiant attempt to frame a picture of this intense and intensely personal musical style. WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS is a documentary, not a definition. Rather than providing an A to Z guide to emo, the nice (and smart) folks at Deep Elm rely on the force and sheer will of the music to wedge itself into your consciousness, from which you boil it down into your own thick, gooey, messy interpretation. It's a rich, desolate, utterly rewarding snapshot, like a black-and- white desert photo. From the raging flame of Jimmy Eat World's appropriately titled "Opener" to the blowing cyclone of Rain Still Falls' "Beginner Swimmer," there's not a flat moment here. Each track is an emotional prowler, licking its chops and eyeing your heart. All sorts of noise-rock crows and screams for attention these days. There's Rollins-style rage-rock, veins a-poppin' and limbs a-thrashin'. Art-noise is interested in music as a technical exercise. And there's plenty of acts making noise just to make noise. What separates the bands on WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS, the neophytes as well as the grizzled vets, is their insistence on building their music upon a base of uncooked, bloody-rare emotion. Don't get me wrong, these acts, well, ROCK, but as a means to an end. In the current vogue of artifice and irony, it's a novel concept. And that's the golden thread that keeps this sloppy genre from flying apart at warp speed. The insistent click and rumble of Richmond, VA's Lazycain, the uplifting roar of Samiam's "Ordinary Life" (which is anything but), and Red Level's bewildered mourning shout share a gritty energy, a stark humanness that dares you to be strong enough to let your guard down. Wimp factor: 0. Emo insists that it's easier to keep the walls up than to work up a sweat tearing them down. And judging by WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS, it's got the brawn to back it up." - Scratch



released September 16, 1997


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