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Chapter 2: A Million Miles Away

by The Emo Diaries

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1.
take me from the apple of my eye. distort the reasons why. she leaves me. again and again you see. find me on the ground. looking upside down at you. you're everything to me. i need to find out. if i'm anything to you. don't believe everything you hear. it's clear the reasons why. she comes back. again and again to me. knock me to the ground. looking upside down at you. you're killing me. you're killing me
2.
these words failed. the smile that lit the room. in the corner by the lamp. but instead he saw. by pale yellow light. and the tv lit the floor. these words i could have said. just watch. stride. the race is run. horses. oh my love. what was our song. green grass. trees. fields. and red leaves crushed. under footsteps and hands held. birds in the blue sky. these words i could have said
3.
i was outside smoking. with the fall winds just beginning. you were still inside mixing drinks. with the music. and the night was there for you. as a backdrop. and the streets were still and dark. cause they had the rain. to help calm them down. and then you came back out. sipping your drink. to the rhythm of a cold night in virginia. i'm ready and i'm willing
4.
sometimes i can't see beautiful. i need you to show me secrets. can you breathe, so i can hear you. say to me that you're not leaving. sad boy flies and comes down broken. realize that i can't without you. cloudless blue inside of your eyes. it's so much clearer when i'm with you. nowhere else is where i want to be. and when you're gone i'll always know where you are. just think of me and i will you said
5.
seem to have this problem with communication. always spoken but never heard can't see through. it and when the things that blur our vision are cast. aside we'll stand in awe admire what we missed. most won't achieve this experience we'll stand in. awe of it why do you lie. make it so obvious. words ring out aware of nothing and you say you. can't remember we'll stand there in awe. admire nothing
6.
after dark. a blow to the head. and the blood red stains he left. of all the. all the things he said. i phoned cops. told you it was something i dread. it was something i dreaded. the concept of you with him. three hours. and a pack and a half of camel lights. the cops never showed. walking across the park. that we grew up in. after dark. midnight the next day. you called me on the phone. and said he was starting up again. rush to the apartment. i opened the door. and screamed out your name. you were lying. flat faced on the floor. if i only got there. a little bit sooner. this would never have happened. i tracked him down. whether it was wrong or right. and i busted his head in. after dark
7.
sound off. sound off. the sound of everything. the names and numbers. they're all the same. you got two for flinching. yeah two for flinching. now your spitting and kicking. and fighting your way to the sound. i am willing to go your way. if you think it will make a difference. if you think it will make a change. you say that they're all the same. but i don't think it will make me smile. or put that look on my face. and they thought it would last forever. i know the things i thought i have been told. i know that things that shouldn't be borrowed and sold. they thought they were a little clever. and they thought it would last forever
8.
so wasted all your time. you kick the trailer door wide open. step off the porch and look at life. it's eye level with you. so wasted all your time. you took a swing at the wrong girl. you looked kind of funny. you burned out middle-aged. loss of life it came to beat you. and what did you do. i could stay and haunt you. but it wouldn't do any good. i'll serve you with papers. give us your water. we need a check for a thing or two. your teaching them. your showing them. how to grow up like you. we don't want that. you're into us. and no one does
9.
it is difficult. to get all of the things you've always wanted. always one step off the rug. and into rut. we may mind. but we always find a way of waiting. it sometimes seems that we forget. and then move on. and if we could ever find a way. that we could just give up. and be content that what we have is just enough. and if we ever find the day. that we could just be done. somedays. in this worrying world. it's so easy to get all frustrated. nothing's really what it seems. unless you peek. you may find. that all of these dimes aren't worth this working. and there's no time left. to go out now
10.
for sale and sold signs set sale for cold nights. like a starfish clings to sand. you've got no anchor to land. you don't know where you're going with your backpack in tow. tattered copies of cometbus and nowhere to go. you're going. if she can learn to dance. then you can learn to walk alone. kayla's learning to dance. she left a milkcrate full of records you can play to remember her by. still life and friction. maybe elliot smith's on now. the autumn breeze blows in and you blow right out. so much like a candle. so much more than you can handle. you're burning out. dance
11.
been seen with you too long. i can't feel myself. look up now. it's time to lose the game. i'm already too far. fall across the steady palm. where you are is good enough for me. it won't last very long in the stars gone by. relax me, it doesn't trick the old. recognize by the gray tone. in circles you run across my skin. and under the belt. kiss me with small mouth. shy for too long. in deep mounds of longing. cry for your sweetness. embrace in my desire. shy for too long. in deep mounds of longing. stars for you opened it up. embody me. hold me up. separate none. break the door. feel the same under you. embody me. bring me down
12.
i'm a teenage actor surrounded by teenage critics. the critics don't like me much. but that's okay because i don't like them either. let's unite and find something to hate. white lies and mistletoe. the people named like states misunderstand but swear that they know. everybody go out. and rebel against their moms. everybody go and be real cool. because teenage unity is number one. the virgins with arms and legs crossed. the hooker with her legs in the air. the slackers with their pants nice and loose. all get scared and like to run from the truth. i want to alienate. but i want to be alienated. you will fight and despise for the rest of your lives. but you don't realize the saddest truth. no matter how hard you try to rebel. you always become what you hate the most. i want to alienate. but i want to be alienated
13.
how long can this go on? how long before you don't want to get up out of bed? where are the angels, and how can they leave you so alone? so weary and worn inside and out. peeling back layers, i'm feeling the weight this far away. it's stealing the favor from me fast. i am with you, holding your heart. it's too heavy inside your delicate skin. i am with you, but it tears me apart. i can't hold you to blame for somebody else's sin. don't wait any longer, you're not gonna hear apologies. just swallow the bullshit with a spoonful of salt to kill the seed. it's gonna get better when you learn to love you like i do. you're worth the trouble it takes to pull you through. i am with you, holding your heart. it's too heavy inside your delicate skin. i am with you, but it tears me apart. i can't hold you to blame for somebody else's sin. you should know, i've got my own. i can't hold you up alone. i can't mend or heal your heart, but i can be your welcome home.

about

"Not very long ago, Deep Elm released one of the greatest compilations ever, known as The Emo Diaries, Chapter One. I'm not even going to go into who was featured on that comp, but it was a dream. This chapter has many strong points and enough good songs for one to enjoy. Pop Unknown is one of the first released songs to come from this post-alot of other bands supergroup from Austin. It's good, jangly, slow, moving, and there's an amazing organ solo at the beginning that gives it a ton of emotion. Other high points on the record Shooters & Senders, the Jazz June, Plain, and Strike Force. There is one awfully pleasant surprise however with this compilation, one that comes in two parts. The first and most obvious surprise was The Miracle of 86 song. In my view, that is the song that easily makes this a piece of history worth owning. Not to sound too "emo" here or whatever, but it's a drinking song to be by yourself and just cry and cry in the dark with that song on. That's one of the highest compliments I could pay a song. And the second surprise, one that's sort of obvious since it's listed on the inside, but not anywhere else, is the addition of a Tess Wiley song at the end of the final track. She's awfully rich in the music history department, and she's someone who I have this feeling you're going to be hearing a lot more about lately. Very pretty emotional music. Overall, an awesome compilation. Well worth the hard earned bucks for a good compilation, since they don't come too often." - Rocket Fuel

"This compilation is the second in a series of stirring collections released by Deep Elm to open your eyes and ears to the wondrous bands producing emo-core. This thirteen song collection, which is a follow up to last year's What's Mine is Yours, again displays some truly dynamic talent. All of the songs have never been released before on CD, and there are numerous gems. The disc begins with the emotional, heartfelt Pop Unknown. It's cascading guitar and warm vocals set the tone for this release. The majority of my personal favorites come later on the collection, particularly Plain, Magstatic and Strike Force, with singer Dina Carpenito delivering simply gorgeous, ethereal vocals. In addition to these excellent pieces, there are strong tracks from Shooters and Senders, Buford, My Favorite Citizen, and Miracle of 86. I loved this from beginning to end and commend Deep Elm for exposing so many great bands. I'm looking forward to chapter three." - Jersey Beat

"Your prayers have been answered. Chapter Two is with us. Chapter One was the best compilation ever produced, Chapter Two is also the best compilation ever released. It starts off with a truly tear-jerkingly beautiful emo-rock ballad from Pop Unknown and then eases with pure blessedness into The Appleseed Cast. You may not have heard of many of these bands, but once you've heard one track by them, you'll want everything they've ever recorded. Deep Elm have bestowed upon the world another collection of life-affirming music and Chapter 3 is on the way. Oh boy..." - Fracture

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released March 31, 1998

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Deep Elm Records

With nearly 280 releases in its catalog, fiercely independent Deep Elm Records continues to build a better label - one that operates for glory, not gold. Deep Elm is about bands and fans coming together as one and experiencing music's awesome ability to inspire, comfort and console. We're not just making music together, we're making history. Dream / Create / Record / Release - Now for 27 Years. ... more

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