We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Chapter 10: The Hope I Hide Inside

by The Emo Diaries

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $8 USD  or more

     

  • More Chapters of The Emo Diaries

1.
rest my head. i hope i never wake up. for there's hell to pay. maybe there's something. oh well. heart beats fast. muscles tight when i get sick. i get uptight. maybe i'm dreaming. oh well. i can't believe it. life has no meaning. can't stop the bleeding. i'm not so old. i think it's work. i think it's you. i get quiet when i. smell your soap. maybe there's nothing. oh well. i'm not stable. keep on breathing. i'm not so. i had my head checked for the straightest jacket
2.
i will be. they took us from our homes. in the heavenlies. to a better life. not just a land. or so they said. of opportunity. i will be. are we the bastard? the bastard sons? in the heavenlies. forgotten by our ones. not just a land. they call us back home now. are we the bastard sons? stripped of all our pride. betrayed by our laws. segregated in our own lives. so would you look in my eyes? i see no dignity in this. to find a light to follow. why would you hurt me. into my mother's eyes i'll stare inside. if i yell we're the same? i didn't even know you. we seem to have lost all our pride. even though you had known me. and i heard your voice for the first time that day. can't you see it in our eyes? i didn't even realize. how much you have loved me. you were just waiting for me to choose life
3.
falling through my dreams. breaking me at seams. i'm waiting for a change. but all things stay the same. if i falter would you follow me. you won't follow me. sitting silent softly. something's stirring beneath. you're distant cold grey eyes and i'm tired. but i still try. if i falter would you follow me. you won't follow me. don't hold your mistakes against me. and if i falter would you follow me. you won't follow me. don't hold you're mistakes against me. because there's nothing i can do
4.
yesterday was an awful day.today i can hardly sit up right. tonight i'll probably be out. and fight. cause i have never had love. bring me the light. such a beautiful sight. lean on me. let's leave this place together. fun. we used to have such fun. it's all gone. i'm only complaining. old. i think we're growing old. what have we done? we have done nothing. bring me the light. such a beautiful sight. leon on me. let's leave this place together. bring me the light. such a beautiful sight. lean on me. let's leave this place together. alone. when you're here i feel alone. that's strange. we used to talk much
5.
i don't mind. that you think you can ride your bike all night. maybe it's good for both of us this time. maybe you'll ride forever. i don't mind. i don't mind. keeps me guessing when you're not on time. maybe you will ride. forever mine. such a crock of shit. and still i don't mind. not this time. i might be a kid eating free at your restaurant until i'm sixty. and i won't mind. and i wouldn't mind. i don't mind. that you're never ever ever coming on one time. it keeps me guessing. just like every night when the phone won't ring. and you're never on time. not this time. i might be waiting on tables at your restaurant until i'm sixty. and i won't mind. and i won't mind. and i wouldn't mind. this time is not forever. don't remind me. of all those nights we shared. don't think that i see. you dancing in my awkward arms. just leaving me tumbling around in circles in my memory. you dancing in my awkward arms. all of those nights we shared. laying there. this time is not forever. don't remind me. all of those nights we shared. don't think that i see. you dancing in my awkward arms. just leaving me tumbling around in circles in my memory. what went wrong. all of those nights we shared. laying there. not this time. i might be a kid eating free waiting tables at your restaurant until i die. and i wouldn't mind. no i wouldn't mind
6.
how would it phase you. if everything you thought you'd feel lay dormant and still. would it effect in the slightest sense at all. would it even cross your mind. to walk the line that you drew a long time ago. don't just jump back and forth. you'll be sorry when i'm gone. how would it phase you. if the walls were closing in. how would it phase you. collapsing lives. uncovering this dead skin. the seasons still change whether you know. you're wasting time that you should've spent on your knees. talking about the world and how you've turned over a new leaf. and now placing your mirrors on the floor means we look down on you when we seek. the more pleasant things that we expected from you. you'll be sorry when i'm gone. i can't see now for the light. and you left me blind. i can't see for the light. and my eyes are sewn shut. when the car crash the fire overwhelms. when the car crash the fire overwhelms. i can see now for the light. and my eyes are no longer sewn shut
7.
could be the summer nights. like we're nocturnal. could be the city's lights. dark and lonely. could be our fear of heights. the edge is always too close. could be to face our freights. drunk and fearless. all i know is at the top we're close. don't say you don't get that feeling. don't say you've got nothing to believe in. all you need is hope for feeling. all you need is yourself to believe in
8.
hey you. listen up. this is it. all worn out? test the waters. you look so dangerous. dressed for the occasion. turn. smile and wave. let's break this hour glass and build a sand castle. just tell me when you're ready. wink when you're ready. can you feel it inside? can you feel it inside? oh yes you can. i can see it in your eyes. the secret's out. it's time to shine. and if these wings fail. turn left at the light. you'll be there. i promise. hey you. listen up. this is it. red makes white. with two thumbs up. we all fall down. i spy something yellow. i spy something blue. i spy something brown. i spy something you
9.
start the unit. start it up. headwind on it's way. restless either wide awake. save the glory days. she's on my side this time around. captain says you're here. so put it up. keeping all out and i just missed the train. guidelines made them throw. pavement loaded afternoon. nothing more to say. i try to tell you all about my hidden forestry. she's on my side this time around. captain says you're here. so put it up. keeping all out and i just missed the train. guidelines made them throw
10.
i would've called you but i didn't want to worry you. i would've begged you but i didn't want to hurry you. and besides. you know i've got this pride. even i need someone. come on. i need someone to keep me on my feet when i feel beat. who knows where my head is really at? no one in this room. that's for sure. don't get me wrong. i ain't complaining. i just don't understand why i feel drained. just cos it's raining. just cos it's raining. just cos it's raining. never been too good with choruses. this one seems okay. i'm sure it is. this one seems okay. i'm sure it is. i do all my living in my head. i do all my living in my dreams. i do all my living in my bed. this situation suits me cos it seems. better than this life. better than this life. never been too good with choruses. this one seems okay. i'm sure it is. this one seems okay. i'm sure it is. i would've called you but i didn't want to worry you. i would've begged you but there's absolutely nothing whatsoever. you could've done to help
11.
set your mind on fire. to impress your friends. for the girls to admire. like a dead relative. bring along some rum. for us to drink 'til 10. all we want is fun. all our friends are dead. pass it along it won't be long until our friends are dead. learn to live a lie. as if you know the truth. and live inside your mind. a place you thought you knew. less is more than ever. unless you thought it through the elements have never. split apart for you. pass it along. it won't be long until our friends are dead
12.
he began speaking apologies before she had opened her door. it was safer that way. to have had something to say at the moment when fate chose its course. both of them stood there expectantly. betrayed by an innocent gift. he had cornered himself with the roses he held. and he cursed her hands hung so sweetly by their thorns. but it made him feel real. like the present was meant to be lived. and the past could stay hidden for now. while the moment tastes good. the carpet was begging for alibis and the bed was just wishing for sleep. but the longer he stayed the more motives she claimed. like possession had always been hers. before he could speak she had toppled him. forcing his mouth onto hers. then the guilt it did spill. til her mouth it was filled. and she choked on the blame that came forth as it poured. but his venom was curative. and it made her awake from her dream just as he fell asleep again. how else could it end? shaking hands? staying friends? parting ways leaves our sins covered up but not cleaned

about

"Documenting an evolution for eight years, The Emo Diaries is definitely about the music. Getting us off to a solid start on Chapter 10, The Hope I Hide Inside, is Oliver with some appropriately upbeat rock. The comp's international colors are shown in Jerusalem's My Name Is Nobody. Their extremely raw punk rock slips into some savage hardcore vocals creating a dramatic and interesting sound. Representing the UK are The Holiday Plan and Latitude Blue; the former an energetic blast of emo-punk providing one of the best moments of the cd, the latter robust and quite catchy indie rock. Deep Elm's own Sounds Like Violence don't fail to deliver with their song. It's a degree mellower and more straightforward than their EP, but still has the slightly deranged vocals and is definitely quality. Also doing the label proud are Lock And Key, their throaty singer prominent as usual on their blistering, melodic punk effort. Hercules Hercules flaunt their arty, angular flair with strong nods toward The Blood Brothers, while Lukestar's song, a definite highlight, is cutting yet unexpectedly catchy. Closing the series is a weighty responsibility, but The Silent Type manage to live up to the task with a suitably relaxing and sublimely melodic track reminiscent of The Appleseed Cast. All in all, a fine collection with lots of passionate songs as one would expect. While Chapter 10 marks an end of an era for The Emo Diaries, you'll be happy to hear that Deep Elm has an all new compilation series, This Is Indie Rock. I can't wait." - Kill The Noise

"The 10th and final installment of The Emo Diaries is packed with some of the finest songs I've heard on a compilation. You can literally find any song for any moment of your life on this. The Hope I Hide Inside is filled with intensity, passion, honesty and emotion. I especially enjoyed songs from My Name Is Nobody, The Holiday Plan and Sounds Like Violence. There are some awesome tunes from bands like Oliver, Lock And Key and Lukestar too. The fact that most of the bands on this comp are unsigned and independent makes it even better, reminding every listener what DIY really means. I will miss you, Emo Diaries." - Truepunk

"I could write pages on what Deep Elm did with The Emo Diaries, highlighting so many talented bands from around the world in so many diverse styles. The first two volumes are perhaps the most important compilation albums in independent rock. Along the way, the label found some amazing bands, flirted with all of emo's sub-genres and paved the way for a style that was vastly important in indie rock. On Chapter 10, The Hope I Hide Inside, the label is holding nothing back. The Israeli band My Name Is Nobody offers a great mix of in-your-face punk, hardcore and emo with some surprisingly lo-fi screaming. Bailey Drive's song is a nice blast of emo-core that I can't get out of my head, and Lock and Key's track may be the best Hot Water Music song they never made. Deep Elm's latest find, Sounds Like Violence, is brilliant on the album's best track. To replace Emo Diaries, Deep Elm is offering This is Indie Rock. I have little doubt that the new series will yet again introduce me to bands I need to hear more of and to styles that are on the cutting edge. That's the legacy of the Emo Diaries." - Delusions Of Adequacy

www.deepelm.com/432

credits

released April 27, 2004

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Deep Elm Records

With nearly 280 releases in its catalog, fiercely independent Deep Elm Records continues to build a better label - one that operates for glory, not gold. Deep Elm is about bands and fans coming together as one and experiencing music's awesome ability to inspire, comfort and console. We're not just making music together, we're making history. Dream / Create / Record / Release - Now for 27 Years. ... more

contact / help

Contact Deep Elm Records

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like Chapter 10: The Hope I Hide Inside, you may also like: